Sunflower Slave

gif sunflower beauty medication illness black.gif

You are the sun

and I?

I’m your loyal follower.

A sunflower,

enslaved to move my body

to face your glorious rays.

Worshiping the warmth

that radiates from You,

because I stopped shining.


– Nikki Leibbrandt (2018)

A poem to chronic medication.


I don’t write about this often, even though it is something that is entrenched in every part of my life, daily, hourly. This is the third poem I’ve written in honour of my illness. Growing up, I had a strong conviction to never be addicted, dependent on anything. I’ve never taken drugs, I said no to alcohol and I refuse to become a worshiper of people. But my life changed when I turned 20, my body compelling me to take medication just to function normally in society and more importantly to live in my own skin. This is a love hate relationship. This is a necessity. This is an addiction. This is a war between blood cells and chemicals. And I’m frustrated.

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